HAPPY LOVE DAY 2020

 Happy Valentine’s Day!! 

Love Day / Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be just about boxes of chocolates, balloons, expensive dinners etc etc.

Life Update Feb 2020

I had made an IG post saying I wasn't going to make any New Year's resolutions but I did low key set some goals for myself.  One of them being to really get busy with this BLOG because

DRAINED

brows done @ Shobha Madison

 Feeling sick SUCKS.  Right when I get the ball rolling and create a youtube vid I get sick.  Yes, I had the flu but prior to that I was feeling sick and now I'm just drained.  I have so many ideas for videos but now I don't have the energy.  I went to the doctor the end of February and nothing was done, he said "let's keep an eye on it".  I still have the same problem.  Every one thinks it's fibroids but the sonogram shows otherwise.  SO WHAT IS IT?!  I'll probably go to the ER this weekend for the sake of having blood drawn to check my levels, I am anemic to begin with and I'm sure my levels probably dropped by now.  Mentally I want to do so much but my body wants different.

In other news I went to do my eyebrows yesterday, this isn't ground breaking news lol I know but I haven't done them since December, I did them for my job's holiday party.  Nails were done too so YAY for that and I strolled around the city, even went to Sephora and bought a couple of items, again things I haven't done in a while.  I used to always, well every other Friday go to the city and have my me time.  It felt good and the weather was gorgeous!  It was a good evening!  Then the sky opened up and it poured lol but thankfully I was on my way home by then.  Depression does that to you!  It makes you tired and it makes you lose interest in everything but little by little I've been trying to take care of me more like old times.  I want to do mircro-blading, get lash extensions, dye this hair.  I'm excited about wanting to do this but then there's this part of me that's like but the Mr has scans again so lets wait and see how that comes out first.  I tend to do that a lot.  I put my stuff in the back burner until he's ok, until results are good, until I have the "green light".  Grooming or even trying to attempt to take care of me leads to feeling guilty.  Should I feel guilty?  Is this normal?

  

Quick hubby update:

A few weeks ago he had his scans and it wasn't good.  The medication that has been keeping the cancer "stable" stopped working so he's on a new treatment.  So in 2 weeks he has scans yet again to see if this new treatment is working.  He can't catch a break.  Now we're sort of on edge, sucks living like that.  Always with the what if?  What if these new meds....

Let me not put it out in the universe but you get the point.

Home update:

end table - overstock  //  mosaic mirror - pier 1  //  couch - reymour & flanging  //  pillows are a combo of home goods, tj maxi, target

We haven't done much the last 2 months because we needed a spending break.  Our main priority was furnishing but it's been about 2 months and Spring is approaching so its about that time we start again but this time its more home decor stuff.  Last weekend I purchased an end table, a lamp and mirrored art - all for the living room (still waiting for the lamp to arrive).  Next will be curtains and small seasonal decor stuff.  It's coming together and I'm happy with the progress so far.

Moving on up...

Sorry for the lack of posts!  I’ve been busy.  

HUBBY UPDATE:  For those that read to find out how the husband is doing let me just say he is doing very well, I often tell people “he’s doing better than ME” and I really feel he is lol.  He has this strength and energy, I often wonder how the hell he does it, I get tired just by watching him.  With that being said he has his "crash" days as he calls them where he'll just sleep literally the entire day.  I’m so grateful though, such a huge difference compared to how he was last year and therefore the holidays were a little extra special for us.  To all that send us well wishes and pray for us THANK YOU!   Your prayers are working!!

So, we finally moved!  I will never understand how people move every couple of years.  I don’t ever want to move again, it is so exhausting, mind you I didn’t take any of my furniture and still it was a lot - 17 years’ worth of stuff.  I finally moved out of my very first apartment, crazy how I moved into that apartment with nothing at all except some childhood memories and a few shopping bags full of clothes.  A few weeks later we were gifted a black and white TV and a small cot (smaller than a twin size bed), about 1 month later 2 cats moved in w/ us, all four of us slept on that little cot and we couldn’t be happier.  I had a love hate relationship with that apartment and it was bittersweet leaving,  I left tons of good and bad memories behind but I look forward to what the future holds in this new home.  I moved into the home my mother left me after she passed away and after 3 years after her passing I finally moved in.  It was always hard going back to the house, just passing by that block gave me anxiety!  My mother would always tell me “that’s your house, everything I’m doing is for you, I need to make sure that you’re taken care of after I’m gone”, I never wanted the house!  I never understood why she'd think I wouldn't be "ok" and I would fight w/ her about it, she’d always say “que pendeja tu eres” and walk away lmfao but I get it now and I thank her every morning upon starting my day.  Hopefully I don’t sound crazy when I say this but I felt in my heart my mom wasn’t happy that I hadn’t moved in, she wasn’t happy when I rented it but the first week I moved in I felt her in my room watching over us happy that we were there and I could almost hear her say she’s happy with what I’ve done with the house.  I guess the timing was right, I moved when I was supposed to, I’m finally comfortable there.  God bless my husband for taking the initiative and getting it painted and upgraded to my liking (he added some surprises for me too) because I honestly don’t think I would have done it on my own.  I / we are working hard to make it “our home” and although I was extremely hesitant at first I did enjoy picking the paint color and directing how I wanted it done, I'm enjoying the decorating process.  I always received compliments on my apartment but it really didn't have my "touch" which I'll explain why in another post.  It’s been a few weeks since I officially moved so there’s still a ton to be done, a ton to buy but I have to say its getting easier, it’s all coming together.   My husband even commented on how different it feels and looks and that made me smile.  I will go into further detail on the colors I chose, furniture and what small upgrades we made in another post.  I had planned to blog / vlog the entire process but it was just way too much and didn’t get to do it BUT stay tuned because I plan on posting A LOT of home décor stuff and now that I have a yard and a new background I can post #OOTDs. 

I posted random pictures which some of you may have already seen on Instagram.  Also, I apologize in advance, the quality of these pics suck.  

Holiday Party

I only put up 1 tree in the past, really didn't want to put one this year but the Mr wanted one and ironically I found one in our basement so up it went and I loved it.  Please see my Instagram for a mini tree vid.

We finally made it to Manhattan.  We took a stroll around the city, had dinner and enjoyed the holiday festivities on a rainy night.  It was perfect.

Christmas Eve

Can you tell which side of the bed belongs to who - ha ha

I absolutely love my bedroom, its so girly and glam, thankfully he loves it too

New Year's Eve 

Good News

^{🎃 HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃}

Jeans  //  Sweater //  Belt  //  Booties   

Yesterday called for a few glasses of champagne in lieu of celebrating good news!  

Monday the Mr had an appointment with his oncologist and he received good test/scan results AND yesterday he had an appointment with his lung doctor whom said he no longer needs to follow up with him - YAY.  It’s been a rough couple of weeks!!!  He had 3 lung procedures in a span of 2 weeks, we spent a total of 10 days at the hospital. It hasn’t been easy but he’s a fighter!  He’s still recovering but everyday he feels better / it gets a little easier.  Hopefully no more hospital stays for a long long looooong time!

As for me, if you read my last post you’ll know that I had an abnormal mammogram.  I went for my 2nd mammo to confirm that there is indeed something on my left breast and there is!  Next step is biopsy!!!  I’m not looking forward to that painful process but early detection is best so I have no choice but to put my fear aside and get it done!  It’s scary but I’m hopeful!  

Most of you know the Mr has become quite the fashionista!  He needs to start his very own fashion blog - ha ha ha!

Jeans  //  Coat  //  Sneakers - Customized  //  Shades

October Boob Check

I wanted to post a quick update and being that October is BREAST CANCER AWARENESS month I figured why not make a post about my recent mammogram. 

A few weeks ago I went to see my gynecologist for my annual visit.  We all know how much fun those visits are - right? *rolls eyes / sarcasm*

Anyways, so he acknowledged the fact that I hit a milestone this year, the big 4 0.  He said it’s time to incorporate mammograms as part of my check-ups.  My initial reaction was ummmmm no, I’m too young!  The Mr was diagnosed with breast cancer at 32 and there are thousands of young women battling breast cancer so I didn’t argue.  Better safe than sorry!  So, last Saturday I went, honestly it was no biggie!  This wasn’t my first but it was easier than the first.  Back in 2001 my GYN doctor felt a lump on my right breast and suggested I get it checked out.  It was nothing - thank god!  I was told I have lumpy breast 😒 nothing to worry about according to the doctor.  I remember my first mammo being so painful, literally it felt like my boob was going to explode from being squashed so hard!  I dreaded last weeks visit!  Surprisingly tho it was NOT bad at all!!!  The tech that did my exam was so gentle and although it wasn’t a pleasant or comfortable experience it did not hurt!  

Please don’t be afraid or hesitate to get your boobies checked. I can not express the importance of early detection, it can literally save your life.  I self check my boobs (or try too) every month usually after my menstrual cycle. Feel your boobs, know what they feel like so that when something is abnormal you’re able to tell the difference.  Know your body as a whole!!!  Seriously, know every inch of your body, explore.  Find out what is normal, what feels good and what doesn't.  I could go on and on AND on with this topic but I'll end it here because this will quickly turn into something else.

After my appointment we took a stroll through Central Park.  It was such a beautiful day, perfection to say the least.  Felt like a Spring day, mind you its Fall.  Mother nature is playing games with us again, I'm not complaining tho.  If only the temperature could stay 65-75 degrees permanently.  Wishful thinking ha ha!  

UPDATE 10/8/18:  Received a call and my exam came back abnormal.  They see something in my left breast. Scared is an understatement but remaining hopeful!  Trying to convince myself it’s just a repeat of the last time.   

Blazer (unknown)  /  T-Shirt (use my code Sasse142)  /  Jeans / Shoes  /  Purse

Vacation Over

Annnnd just like that vacation is over!!!  Ugh, why can't these days go by slowly?  More like a slow work week!  WHY?

Vacation was nice, it was everything we wanted it to be - quiet and relaxing.  As I mentioned in my previous post we weren't looking to "turn up", we simply wanted some quiet time.  I didn't take many pictures, I wanted to enjoy the moment, BE IN THE MOMENT.  My phone spent a lot of time in the safe which is SURPRISING!  If you know me you know I always have my phone in my hand whether it is on or off is a whole other topic lol but its in my hand regardless.  We often miss important details because our nose is buried in our phone, social media rules most of us sadly.  This time around was different tho and it was nice.  We slept a lot, we "worked out", I focused on my mental and spiritual self.  I wrote in my journal almost every night, I colored, meditated I went to the spa multiple times, I took care of my body.  It felt good, no it felt GREAT, AMAZING, WONDERFUL!!!  I did not have anxiety at all, I was super relaxed both mentally and physically.  Why don't I do this at home?  Because life - that's why.

 I promised myself to bring some of that self care home and just pick a day when I do it - a ME DAY.  I used to have this day as a teen all the way into my 20's then it stopped, not completely but yeah, it stopped.

As I mentioned I really didn't take pictures but I posted some on my Instagram - go follow if you aren't already so that you can keep up with me.

As usual thank you for reading       

labradorite crystal and a new journal

meditation literally on the ocean AMAZING!

his daily walk

He’s Back!

Hubby Update:

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to ask how he's doing.  Thank you for all of the love, support and prayers!  It means a lot to us.

Life has been pretty good – no complaints on this end!!  We truly feel blessed!  The Mister is doing so much better.  I find myself saying "heeeee's baaaaaack" lol.  It’s been so nice to see him transform from being depressed and bed ridden to being energetic and independent.  He’s back to his normal self, not 100% but damn near close.  Even his doctor continues to be amazed!!!

We are going on a much needed vacation and we could not be more excited.  We've been through so much these last 8 months so we're just gonna take some time to reflect and relax.  We're going on another cruise so stay tuned!  

I’m attaching some photos of him from this past month.  Hope you enjoy!!

He's back on the road and he could not be happier.  Me on the other hand, well I'm more on the nervous side.

He's more fashion conscious!!  It is the most funniest thing.  He bought new clothes since he no longer fits in any of his old stuff.  When he gets dressed he'll take a selfie and sends it to me to make sure he looks good and is well coordinated.  I'm like - dude who are you?  ha ha

*blue everything cause that's his favorite color*

Best Friend Tingz

Hello beautiful people!

Roof Top Views

Quick hubby update:

He's doing pretty good.  Not 100% but definitely better AND he's looking pretty good too.  He recently celebrated a birthday and I along with his parents took him to the movies, dinner then Cheesecake Factory for dessert.  It was a great day and I'm extremely grateful.  I spent some time praying on it - all I wanted was for him to have a descent birthday and I'm happy we were granted that.  Prior to his birthday he mentioned to me that he had a feeling he was going to spend his birthday in the hospital.  God is great tho!!

 I fell in love with this sweater.  Not something he'd normally wear but he loved it and he looked great in it

he looked and felt good

In other news tho, yesterday was a great day - I spent the day with my BFF.  She's going to be happy she is FINALLY making a guest appearance on my blog and she doesn't know it yet - ha ha!!  It's not often we spend time due to my current situation but when we do its always fun.  My circle is small and honestly my closest friends are the ones I've grown up with since elementary / JHS but this chica right here snuck her way in LOL.  We share similar pasts, we have the same sick sense of humor, we laugh and cry together, she has a heart of gold and I appreciate her.  Anyway, we went to the spa which will remain nameless because they're a "no camera facility" so with that being said I'm posting these pics but shhhhh LOL.
(pics taken with my phone so excuse the poor quality)  

en route to the spa via uber where the drinking started

waiting for our facials

hot tub / jacuzzi fun

worst behavior swimsuit from FES

lunch time

I had tofu and brown rice while she had, ummmm....lol

she really fell asleep in the meditation room

chromatherapy / sauna

another sauna and this was the hottest

gold room - sauna

a lil jacuzzi action

I honestly loved this room - Igloo Room aka ice box lol

sleeping room

Sick of us yet?!  LOL
Thank you for reading!!