Life Update Feb 2020

I had made an IG post saying I wasn't going to make any New Year's resolutions but I did low key set some goals for myself.  One of them being to really get busy with this BLOG because

He’s Back!

Hubby Update:

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to ask how he's doing.  Thank you for all of the love, support and prayers!  It means a lot to us.

Life has been pretty good – no complaints on this end!!  We truly feel blessed!  The Mister is doing so much better.  I find myself saying "heeeee's baaaaaack" lol.  It’s been so nice to see him transform from being depressed and bed ridden to being energetic and independent.  He’s back to his normal self, not 100% but damn near close.  Even his doctor continues to be amazed!!!

We are going on a much needed vacation and we could not be more excited.  We've been through so much these last 8 months so we're just gonna take some time to reflect and relax.  We're going on another cruise so stay tuned!  

I’m attaching some photos of him from this past month.  Hope you enjoy!!

He's back on the road and he could not be happier.  Me on the other hand, well I'm more on the nervous side.

He's more fashion conscious!!  It is the most funniest thing.  He bought new clothes since he no longer fits in any of his old stuff.  When he gets dressed he'll take a selfie and sends it to me to make sure he looks good and is well coordinated.  I'm like - dude who are you?  ha ha

*blue everything cause that's his favorite color*

My 40th Birthday

Hello my gorgeous readers!!

In my previous post I said I'd keep you posted on how the Mr is doing but honestly so much has been going on.  I honestly haven't had the time.  Since my last post he has been hospitalized 2 more times.  It has been hard and emotionally / physically draining.  It is so easy to lose sense of self if you're not careful.  I'm fortunate enough to have my in-laws especially his sister who gives me a heads up on when she's visiting and insists I take some time for myself.  As a care giver you definitely need a break, some you time.  I'm very independent and I hate help.  If I can do it alone I would, shit I actually prefer to do things on my own.  Accepting help is not something that is easy for me to do, never was.  But take it from me, if you're in my shoes and have people offering to help, TAKE THE HELP!!!!  Don't feel guilty about it either.  You have to take care of you before you can help any one else.  I'm learning that now, some things still aren't easy for me but I'm adjusting. 

I spent my 40th birthday in the hospital, one of the saddest days of my life.  That day they made it seem like he had no time, we had to make a decision about DNR although there was a proxy, he was being released under hospice care which means the end is near, he barely woke up, spoke, I don't think I even got a "happy birthday from him".  I cried so so much that day, I went to church and cried some more.  I prayed, prayed so much!  Luckily for me I have a great support system!  I received tons of phone calls, face time, texts etc.  My in-laws came with a cake, my friends from work / BFF surprised me at the hospital with a cake, balloons, champagne, gifts etc, my sister in-law and niece came with more gifts and we went to the bar for some food and drinks.  It helped a little, cheered me up.  But once everyone went home I was stuck with a champagne bottle, drinking right in his room watching him sleep, thinking about how different last year was.  There I was, sad as fuck again, on my 40th.  Afraid of what was going to happen next.

Today he is much better and I am beyond grateful!!!!  He's not 100% himself, he can't be alone, is very weak still but he gets around and does what he can as best as he can.  He's so much better I may even return to work soon - Monday hopefully.  I take nothing for granted.  Life is hella short, live it, love it, live each day as if it were your last.  Have drama with anyone, let that shit go!  It's not worth it!!!  Time is way too short - time is too precious!!

Thank you for reading!

xo
Erika