Saturday, March 16, 2019


brows done @ Shobha Madison

 Feeling sick SUCKS.  Right when I get the ball rolling and create a youtube vid I get sick.  Yes, I had the flu but prior to that I was feeling sick and now I'm just drained.  I have so many ideas for videos but now I don't have the energy.  I went to the doctor the end of February and nothing was done, he said "let's keep an eye on it".  I still have the same problem.  Every one thinks it's fibroids but the sonogram shows otherwise.  SO WHAT IS IT?!  I'll probably go to the ER this weekend for the sake of having blood drawn to check my levels, I am anemic to begin with and I'm sure my levels probably dropped by now.  Mentally I want to do so much but my body wants different.

In other news I went to do my eyebrows yesterday, this isn't ground breaking news lol I know but I haven't done them since December, I did them for my job's holiday party.  Nails were done too so YAY for that and I strolled around the city, even went to Sephora and bought a couple of items, again things I haven't done in a while.  I used to always, well every other Friday go to the city and have my me time.  It felt good and the weather was gorgeous!  It was a good evening!  Then the sky opened up and it poured lol but thankfully I was on my way home by then.  Depression does that to you!  It makes you tired and it makes you lose interest in everything but little by little I've been trying to take care of me more like old times.  I want to do mircro-blading, get lash extensions, dye this hair.  I'm excited about wanting to do this but then there's this part of me that's like but the Mr has scans again so lets wait and see how that comes out first.  I tend to do that a lot.  I put my stuff in the back burner until he's ok, until results are good, until I have the "green light".  Grooming or even trying to attempt to take care of me leads to feeling guilty.  Should I feel guilty?  Is this normal?

Quick hubby update:
A few weeks ago he had his scans and it wasn't good.  The medication that has been keeping the cancer "stable" stopped working so he's on a new treatment.  So in 2 weeks he has scans yet again to see if this new treatment is working.  He can't catch a break.  Now we're sort of on edge, sucks living like that.  Always with the what if?  What if these new meds....
Let me not put it out in the universe but you get the point.

Home update:
end table - overstock  //  mosaic mirror - pier 1  //  couch - reymour & flanging  //  pillows are a combo of home goods, tj maxi, target
We haven't done much the last 2 months because we needed a spending break.  Our main priority was furnishing but it's been about 2 months and Spring is approaching so its about that time we start again but this time its more home decor stuff.  Last weekend I purchased an end table, a lamp and mirrored art - all for the living room (still waiting for the lamp to arrive).  Next will be curtains and small seasonal decor stuff.  It's coming together and I'm happy with the progress so far.

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